i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
