my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
