my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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