Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
