left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
