Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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