shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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