doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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