I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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