Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
