I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just threw up on my dentist
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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