that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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