whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
