You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
