Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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