you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
