Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
