i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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