i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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