Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
