He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
