My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
