Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
