thus making me awesome and them whores
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
