So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
