and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
