We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
