Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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