the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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