it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
