It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
there is glitter all over my balls
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