We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
