his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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