We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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