YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
