This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
