so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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