Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
