You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
