i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
smell my finger.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
