Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
