No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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