Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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