You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
