Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize