apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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