News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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