Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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