Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize