fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
