we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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