I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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