are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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