therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
