on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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