I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
