3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
