Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need moral support for this bender
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
