just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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