I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
this will be a night to untag.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
