problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
