Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
