U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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