I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
